tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327436454061072416.post7628270011654026934..comments2020-06-11T00:56:19.203-07:00Comments on The Sword in the Sand: 3. In which Sir Benjamin outlines the background to his experiences and extends a note of warning.David Crookhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02497436789811496047noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327436454061072416.post-62916151367648959182010-07-27T21:43:02.862-07:002010-07-27T21:43:02.862-07:00Hi SoS,
Many thanks for the comments as ever. The...Hi SoS,<br /><br />Many thanks for the comments as ever. The tent is large and is based loosely on Feisal's tent in Lawrence of Arabia but I take your point re the flammables! A mental swallow is of course not an avian - probably not a good choice of phrase either! I note your idea about using this as the opening rather than using Royston's background but I will stay in the order as is - there is a reason for this that will reveal itself in due course.<br /><br />In the meantime however, the real heart of the matter is next in part 5.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />OgreDavid Crookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02497436789811496047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327436454061072416.post-30675798627198637782010-07-27T15:31:00.653-07:002010-07-27T15:31:00.653-07:00Fantastic instalment, Ogre, with a very powerful e...Fantastic instalment, Ogre, with a very powerful ending, drawing the reader in, and at the same time exciting expectation of what is to come....so powerful, that if I was an Editor, I would suggest that it, rather than the background detail on Royston, should form the opening to the book, which would then switch back to the earlier descriptive passages, and then go on to begin the tale proper....<br /><br />One small criticism - there are far too many torches, flames, lanterns fires and cigars being waved about in a flammable tent......although the sand underfoot could always be used to smother the flames, I suppose!<br /><br />Oh, and what is a "mental swallow" - Royston enters the tent with one - is it anything like an unhinged owl? :-)SteelonSandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12231931971295669901noreply@blogger.com